When No One Shows Up to Your Event

I could slow down and carefully design a dope rave bra or I could rush through it and just tie some fabric around my torso, or just go buy something on Amazon. I could write a thoughtful article or blog post and carefully edit it, or I could just write with reckless abandon and figure that if anyone actually reads it, they’re have to appreciate the waywardness of the run-on sentences. I could craft emails to potential photography clients and establish a steady stream of income for myself or I could just stick with my current client list, giving up on grow. I could book music shows and pray that people actually show up or I could just put off performing until a future date in my life when the audiences are guaranteed to be bigger and my disappointment will be guaranteed to be smaller. I can announce a yoga class and rent a room but that might be a colossal waste of money when no one shows up. I could go LIVE on Instagram and have no viewers. I could put my paintings up for sale and no one could buy them. I could actually go on a Tinder date and feel sadly nothing when we meet and it’s an awkward waste of time and bad vibes that I have to scrap off my body for days. I could invest a lot of time doing things that nobody shows up for and nobody buys. All a waste of time. I live in a reality where things are difficult to manifest. They take so much energy and rarely pay me back with reward. It feels safer to hide in my garage and make artwork that I don’t sell and tell eager beavers to wait for my next show which will be coming soon in the distant never to exist low pressure future. I could live in this reality. Or I could return to a reality where I bubble over with enthusiasm and orchestrate the community events that fill me with light, connection and growth. I could return to the reality that I lived in before those crushing moments in college when I sat in a room, waiting for people to show up to my events, my fundraisers, my yoga classes and nobody ever did. I road my bike home in the rain with ten unused yoga mats on my back. I switched the lights off in the room and dropped my unread handouts into the recycle bin. My zest for event planning and bringing my visions to life turned its face down to the ground in shame, believing that I wasn’t good enough, no one else cared enough, I was alone in this and I could either continue to spend my energy and have my little heart broken in the empty rooms or I could just never rent an empty room again, never dream or expect that I could fill an empty room with people. Whatever I’m offering, they don’t really want it enough to come. Whatever I’m writing, posting, creating, isn’t enticing enough to win people’s attention or money. So i’ll play it safe and just work with the clients who have somehow hired me again and again. They keep coming back, probably because it’s easier for them to return to familiar company than to seek out someone better. I could do so many things if only I didn’t care if people showed up or not. I could do so many things if I understood how to get people to show up. Back then, when my heart was crushed and my illusions were shattered, and I tasted failure, I was naive in believing that all you had to do was put up a poster and the crowds would appear. A poster became an Instagram account and a Facebook post. That’s all it would take right? Sad face, wrong. I have learned through this decade how to make people show up. It is through personal touch. A direct text message or handwritten invitation in the mail. I call each person by name and speak with the word “I” and make it abundantly clear that the event is happening and that we are making it happen together. They are wanted there. Their presence at the event is important and they will be missed if they do no show up. I express my vision for the event and why it is going to be a valuable experience for all who attend. I share with them until their enthusiasm is as great as mine and they see themselves there already. We both see ourselves there and we will both be there. When you are racing to make something happen as quickly as possible and you want it to be a HUGE big success with lots of people, quantity and speed are going to slow you down, possibly all the way to a halt. Stop dreaming of the big conference and the hoards of attendees. It’s better to have one or three people show up and really connect with them then to be sitting in that empty room alone. Take time to actually connect and invite one person at a time. It feels slow, painfully slow, at first. Then, once that one person is on board, it’s easy to get them to come a second time. The second invitation requires less effort on your end. Eventually, all it takes is a Facebook post and the masses show up because you took the time to build their bond with you and the cause or activity. They will feel so connected to the experience that you’re offering that they will even seek it out. Just like exiting a freeway, slowing down in a high speed world can feel sluggish and requires some adjustment. velocitization is the concept. Force yourself to slow down and focus on one person at a time, one event at a time. One by one, it grows and we will crawl out from the empty rooms that crushed us and walk into rooms brimming with vitality.