Applause, how strange. It seems a completely normal act when you’re standing in the audience and yet from the stage, how uncomfortable and somehow wonderful. Why are they clapping? Should I wave, smile or say thank you"? Attention and praise is a bright light shining straight into our face and we almost squint away from the dark faces. They’re impressed, perhaps on the verge of worshiping. I don’t like this applause from the consumer who does not produce. From other artists, the claps are welcome; they’ve earned the ground they stand on as creators and like recognizes like. Artists watch each other work and flow and we see ourselves in our comrades. We know what it feels like, what’s going on inside the mind and body in this moment we’re observing. When we clap, we know what we are clapping for; the hours of practice, the tears of frustration, the biggest dreams we build and hold on to, and the doubt and fear that through which we drag our determined feet. We clap for our friends and we clap for ourselves. We clap for the artist who creatives despite everything. This feels good. We’re cheering each other on and how else can we show our acknowledgement than the sounds we can create from our own physical bodies.

The claps from the soft spectator, reserved critic and self-critic, too-shy-to-try kinda audience member who thinks we have magic in our veins, who thinks we were born special, that we can do what they cannot. They clap and laud and gush. They say things like, “That was amazing! You’re amazing. i wish I wish I wish I could….” YOU CAN! I want to scream in their face because saying it to their face never gets through. Maybe I ought to try whispering in their ear; the whisper speaks louder than the scream. I’ll try that next time. So far though, no luck in getting through; correction…no luck in breaking through. When we encourage each other, we always have an impact even if it’s just adding one more person to the list of people who believe in them. We might not be there for the break through moment but we can add a straw to that camel’s back. Often, breakthroughs come in solitude. The woman who watched me sing on stage and wishes she could be a singer too, she brushed off my encouraging words, but they made it into her mind, somewhere deep in there and when she sits alone at home one night, fire will grow in her belly and she’ll step in front of a mirror and say to herself, “I can do it.”

So, the applause… i want acknowledgement for what I have done. I do not want praise for who inexperienced people think I am. Who I am is in my work. Praise the work. I am the person who did the work. I created something that I wanted to exist. I let the powers of creation take over my being so more could come to be in this universe…because it felt good to do so and I was curious, compelled, called….obsessed. How could I be anything other than obsessed after magical forced took over my brain and promised me superpowers of being able to reach in and touch other people’s souls on one condition…I had to do the work. That’s it. You can be that person too and I will clap for the work you have done. LOVE ❤ CHA

blog